My friend J. points out a story from today’s Can-Can [Romanian tabloid]: several Romanian prostitutes were killed by an Italian Satanic cult called “The Beasts of Satan.” Apparently, the sect was trying to cleanse the society of all “human scum.”

Now, going beyond the obviously grotesque character of the story lies a very interesting fact, and I have to give credit to my source here for rightly pointing it out: since when, in Italy [a Catholic, Conservative country run by the Mafia], Satan-lovers seek to eliminate prostitutes, which, religion-wise, perform an act of sin?

The obvious conclusion is that Italian fascists must be basking in the sun, sipping on their cappuccinos from hand-painted Duce teacups and, overall leading La Dolce Vita while outsourcing all their dirty work to misguided youth with a natural propensity for the Dark Side.